What is moving on? does anybody has control over it, can somebody move on from anything with all dedication and determination in defined time period? NO.
It takes time and you can never tell how much, It depends on innumerable factors, from your attitude towards life to people you hang out with. It varies from person to person. Most fascinating thing about overgrowing is, you have no control over it about when, how and at what speed you will outgrow something. You can just keep bugging your mind to think or not to think about something to stimulate the process of outgrowing as a catalyst but again, it mainly depends on reactants (situation and people we are with) than the catalyst. That is sad. Really sad.
If you are bestowed with good friend circle and have enough resources to keep you motivated and deviated from the thing you want to outgrow then its going to be speedy process otherwise its very difficult to create that motivation to move on with no external help. In modern world, where everything is seen through how much successful you are through your academics, your likes on social media, materialistic items you posses, bank balance etc. its really difficult to suppress the feeling to fit in, to be happily accepted and of course to be desired. And because it takes so much effort to suppress that feeling so, easier way is to give up your own consciousness of the world and let yourself follow the existing workable pattern, that algorithm, which will make us robots in near future. Otherwise, just struggle, struggle and struggle and abandon the feeling to be desired of course. That's the best way to move on and understand the life in its true sense. So difficult that it seems almost impossible at times but, what's easy anyway? You are heart broken. don't forget it. Its the most painful feeling i have come across yet so i am assuming not seeking acceptance will be less difficult. Should be.
So we were talking about moving on.
The moment when you find out, there is no way, you can make things better. You have to consume and digest the fact that you can't have what you love (you don't have option to throw it out, fucking chew it and digest it well). There is no valid reason why you can't have that. Just exist with it. You have no option son.
This is freaking melancholic experience and on the top of that, you don't know what to do. Holy fuck.
I feel, because i don't posses the capability of disappearing, nullify myself from anything and everything even for a moment that i just don't feel my existence anymore, this sadness, this disturbance anymore. Consequently, i have to exist, i have to feel it, i have to eat it, chew it, digest it, cry, go numb and in the end, have to smile. Because "only way out is through" my friend. You are neither allowed nor you can skip the life lessons thrown at you. Just keep hitting your head to exist positively.
I have always been a loner. I have always enjoyed time spent alone but i find myself extremely sociable at times, life of the party type. I like being with my family and friends (Whom i can count my life on). but being detached give me more strength than with people. I struggle most of the time between my social and loner self.
This experience, where i hurried to go to next step with a Obeth i dearly admired. I now find myself more inclined to be loner again. I don't think i have enough strength to handle something like that again.
One of the personality i always look up to is Albert Einstein, he is famous more as a scientist than a philosopher. But, he never failed to amaze me from his understanding of life. And he says:-
## HolyTiger.
